Hey, I Have A Joke You Can Use

It’s the salutation of choice for older drunk dudes at comedy shows everywhere

Every time I’m approached with this line it ends with a joke so racist it would make your friend Brick’s great-grandpa Jasper blush (and he fought for the wrong side during the Civil War).

If you are, ever have been, or ever plan on being that guy, go ahead and swap that line out for a simple “hi”, “hey”, or “what’s up”

Then follow that with an “I really liked/hated/didn’t listen to your set”. Whichever feels most authentic to you at the time.

Either of those are better than offering up some shitty joke that you read in a dusty paperback book that was printed when segregation was still the norm.

I hate to break it to you, but 99% of comedians use material that doesn’t come from a book.

What about the other 1%? They just think they should be standing on a stage talking to people because someone retweeted them once.

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